The ADHD Smarter Parenting’s Podcast

Ep #106: When parents aren’t on the same page

October 21, 2020

Not on the same page as your partner when it comes to parenting? You are not alone. How do we get on the same page is one of the most frequently asked parenting questions we receive. 

No two parents’ parent the same. Because of life experiences, including how they were raised, it’s not uncommon for parents to have different parenting styles and priorities. The goal is to find ways to work through parenting differences and find solutions that both parents are happy with and implement.

If you and your partner can’t agree, it leads to inconsistent parenting practices. Inconsistent parenting practices are problematic for children as it sends mixed messages, and they are never entirely sure what they are supposed to do and who they should follow. For example, if you believe that your child must do chores, but your partner doesn’t, how does your child know what to do?

When dealing with conflict resolution, Harvard University’s course on conflict resolution recommends the following things: (https://www.pon.harvard.edu/daily/conflict-resolution/conflict-resolution-strategies/)

  1. Recognize we all have biases
  2. Overcome the "us vs. them" mindset
  3. Look beneath the surface to identify deeper issues
  4. Separate pseudo-sacred from sacred issues

When parents use these strategies, they can find solutions that work for both parties. Using these strategies in conjunction with Effecting Communication and Decision Making (SODAS Method) helps parents do just that. 

Effective Communication allows you to feel heard and understood, while Decision Making helps you find solutions that work for both parties.

You can find the skills on the Smarter Parenting website: https://www.smarterparenting.com/

If you need specific help finding solutions for getting on the same page, join the Smarter Parenting Club. https://www.smarterparenting.com/coaching/

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