It’s essential for kids to learn Accepting No Answers as life is more comfortable when they can do so. Getting “No” answers is a part of life as “Nos” can come from a boss, teacher, family member, friend, or parent.
Saying no to kids is an integral part of establishing boundaries with kids as “no” answers help keep them from danger and teaches them self-mastery.
Parents saying no can be pretty frustrating for kids, especially if they feel that they hear “No” a lot. It’s why we recommend doing two things. First, is telling kids yes as often as possible. Don’t use “No” for something that you could say yes to. Sometimes we say “No” because it’s easier, but that doesn’t always mean that it’s right.
The second recommendation is to Role-play situations you know will be difficult for your child to Accept No Answers until they are comfortable with receiving a “no” answer. For some children, it may require them to practice Accepting No ten, twenty, or thirty times. That is okay. Sometimes hard things need extra time. Eventually, your child will get to a point where they can accept the no answer without throwing a tantrum, whining, or complaining.
There are only two steps to Accepting No. Step one: Show respect by acknowledging each other. Step two: The child says, “Okay,” and calmly accepts the “No” answer. That’s it. The power of this behavior skills lies in Role-playing situations that are difficult for your child.
This skill works on children of all ages. Many parents will find that this skill may be easier to teach to teenagers than to younger children, with teenagers being able to grasp the power of the skill with little effort.
The purpose of Accepting No answers is not to create children who can’t think for themselves. Instead, it’s to help them learn self-mastery, especially when dealing with disappointment.
There may be times when a child may not like the “No” answer they receive. Using the skill of Disagreeing Appropriately, they can state their feelings on the matter after they Accept No calmly.
The behavior skill of Accepting No Answers is coming to Smarter Parenting in 2020. Stay tuned!
For more information about the behavior skills taught on Smarter Parenting, visit the episode podcast page on SmarterParenting.com
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