![The ADHD Smarter Parenting‘s Podcast](https://pbcdn1.podbean.com/imglogo/image-logo/4701387/ADHD-logo.png)
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Drawing on years of experience working with families, Parenting Coaches Siope Kinikini and Kimber Petersen share how families can improve, heal, and find success using the proven methods of the Teaching-Family Model. Visit smarterparenting.com to learn more.
Episodes
![Ep #85: How to use Effective Negative Consequences: Part 3](https://pbcdn1.podbean.com/imglogo/ep-logo/pbblog4701387/ep-85-how-to-use-effective-negattive-consequences-part-3_300x300.jpg)
Wednesday May 27, 2020
Ep #85: How to use Effective Negative Consequences: Part 3
Wednesday May 27, 2020
Wednesday May 27, 2020
Let us help you figure out how to use Effective Negative Consequences—join the Smarter Parenting club.
https://club.smarterparenting.com/
Figuring out how to give Effective Negative Consequences can be tricky as many parents struggle with implementing all five elements that make a consequence successful.
The goal of a consequence is to teach them what they should have done instead and to encourage them not to repeat the negative behavior.
Consequences are only so successful and should not be a parent's sole focus when it comes to changing behavior. Parents that focus exclusively on consequences will damage their relationship with their child long-term.
In addition to consequences, parents should be looking for ways to acknowledge and increase positive behaviors. Focusing on the good can be hard for so many parents because when our children are misbehaving it’s hard to recognize that they are doing anything right. Or we feel that by rewarding them instead of punishing them, they will not learn their lesson.
Using Effective Positive Rewards in conjunction with Effective Negative Consequences allows for positive and sustainable change as kids tend to be more motivated by positive interactions than negative interactions.
Effective Negative Consequences has its place and should be given when the behavior warrants.
Knowing when to use Effective Negative Consequence and Effective Positive Rewards takes some skill and understanding. If you are struggling to figure when to use Effective Negative Consequences or Effective Positive Rewards, sign-up for coaching within the Smarter Parenting Club. During a Parenting Coaching session, we can discuss your unique situation and come up with individualized answers that fit you and your child.
https://club.smarterparenting.com/
For full show notes and transcript visit: https://www.smarterparenting.com/adhd-parenting-podcast/
![Ep #84: How to use Effective Negative Consequences: Part 2](https://pbcdn1.podbean.com/imglogo/ep-logo/pbblog4701387/how-to-use-effective-negative-consequences-part-two_300x300.jpg)
Wednesday May 20, 2020
Ep #84: How to use Effective Negative Consequences: Part 2
Wednesday May 20, 2020
Wednesday May 20, 2020
Struggling with giving consequences? Join the Smarter Parenting Club.
https://club.smarterparenting.com/
Parents often give a lot of consequences, but consequences are not always the best way to change behavior.
While consequences have their place, there are limitations to the effectiveness of consequences to change a child’s behavior. In today’s podcast, ADHD Parenting Coach Siope Kinikini shares with parents what those limitations are and what they can do instead.
If parents only use consequences, it could create this environment where they internalize the negative behavior and believe that the reason they are getting all these consequences is because they are bad.
The best way to create long-last change is to focus on the positive things that your child is doing by creating an environment where we can recognize kids for what they do well and reward them when they do. For many parents, this is a mind-shift that takes some getting used too, but creating an environment where you have more positive interactions than negative with your kids will strengthen your relationship and create a happier home environment. Focusing on positives helps a child reach their full potential.
Giving kids rewards and consequences isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach. Children learn at different rates, and what works for one child will not work for others. It’s okay to switch up the rewards or consequences to fit your child and their needs.
Figuring out what behavior we can reward our children for and what action needs a consequence can be tricky. We encourage you to sign up for a free Parenting Coaching session where we can help you work through your specific situation and individual needs.
Our coaching sessions will help you get to where you want to be faster as they show parents exactly what to do. If you’re ready to move your family forward, join the Smarter Parenting Club. https://club.smarterparenting.com/
For full show notes and transcript visit: https://www.smarterparenting.com/adhd-parenting-podcast/
![Ep #83: How to use Effective Negative Consequences: Part 1](https://pbcdn1.podbean.com/imglogo/ep-logo/pbblog4701387/ep-83-how-to-use-effective-negative-consequences-part-1_300x300.jpg)
Tuesday May 12, 2020
Ep #83: How to use Effective Negative Consequences: Part 1
Tuesday May 12, 2020
Tuesday May 12, 2020
Join the Smarter Parenting Club and let our expert show you how to change behavior. https://club.smarterparenting.com/
When a child is acting up, parents want to know how to give a consequence that works. But, usually, what they want to know is how do they provide a punishment that will stop the behavior. There is a difference between consequences and punishments. Punishments are meant to scare a child into doing what you want, while consequences are meant to help a child make better choices.
Learning how to give consequences that reduce a child’s behavior doesn’t always come easy. The reason that the consequences don’t work is that parents don’t understand how consequences can be used to help a child make a better choice, and so give consequences that don’t matter to a child. Consequences work when they show a child what they gain by reducing the behavior.
Five proven elements make consequences work. If a consequence isn’t working to reduce a child’s negative behavior, it’s because one of the elements isn’t working and needs to be modified. The skill of Effective Negative Consequences shows what those five elements are and how parents can use them to find success to change behavior.
The five elements of Effective Negative Consequences are:
- Immediate
- Degree/size
- Consistent
- Important
- Varied
In this episode, ADHD Parenting Coach Siope Kinikini, shows parents that when they can use the five elements of Effective Negative Consequences, they will find success in helping their child make positive changes.
Our coaching sessions will help you get to where you want to be faster as they show parents exactly what to do. If you’re ready to move your family forward, join the Smarter Parenting Club. https://club.smarterparenting.com/
For full show notes and transcript visit: https://www.smarterparenting.com/adhd-parenting-podcast/
![Ep #82: Reduce frustration with Preventive Teaching: Part 3](https://pbcdn1.podbean.com/imglogo/ep-logo/pbblog4701387/reduce-frustration-with-preventive-teaching-part-three_300x300.jpg)
Wednesday May 06, 2020
Ep #82: Reduce frustration with Preventive Teaching: Part 3
Wednesday May 06, 2020
Wednesday May 06, 2020
Join the Smarter Parenting Club and learn how Preventive Teaching can help you find more clarity and time while reducing stress and frustration.
https://club.smarterparenting.com/
Parents only have so much time and energy in a day. Preventive Teaching helps parents use their time and energy wisely instead of spending it addressing and fixing problems. This keeps parents from feeling overwhelmed and frustrated.
When parents use the behavior skill of Preventive Teaching, they can address problems before they become bigger—the bigger the problem the more energy required to deal with it. By addressing them before they get out of hand, parents have the energy to spend on things that enrich and rejuvenate them; activities such as reading a book, meeting up with friends, going for a walk, exercising, or watching TV.
When parents aren’t spending their time dealing with negative behaviors, they can channel that energy into building a stronger relationship with their child, which is incredible. Instead of fights over homework or chores, you’re able to spend that time talking, playing a game together, going for a walk, what will that do for your family?
We can tell you what it will do. It will increase cooperation, understanding, empathy, and trust. Your child will start to see that you have their best interest at heart and that you are there to help them be better. They will see you as an ally and not as a foe.
We love Preventive Teaching for what it gives parents. By making small changes and addressing problems before they start, you and your kids will gain so much.
If you haven't listened to episodes 80 and 81, we recommend you do as they will help you understand what you will gain from using Preventive Teaching.
If you’re ready to move your family forward, join the Smarter Parenting Club. https://club.smarterparenting.com/
For full show notes and transcript visit: https://www.smarterparenting.com/adhd-parenting-podcast/