The ADHD Smarter Parenting’s Podcast
Ep #101: Teaching your kid to function without you

Ep #101: Teaching your kid to function without you

September 16, 2020

As parents, we want to teach our children to function without us. We want them to know what to do in any situation. We want them to be able to be an advocate for themselves. We want them to be successful at school, work, and in their relationships.

If we want our children to know what to do when we are not around. We have to Role-play it, and then Role-play it repeatedly until they are comfortable and know how to do it. Without practice, it is hard for children to remember what they are supposed to do as our brains only remember so much information at a time. It’s the practicing that makes something real to a child, not the words we tell them.

Role-playing is an often underutilized skill, but it is one of the most important ones in preparing our kids for the future. You can Role-play with both young children and teenagers. You can Role-play any situation, from making friends, knowing how to interview for a job, or what to do when someone is mean.

Role-playing doesn’t require any fancy equipment; it just requires us to be consistent. 

If you're looking for help, we have the Smarter Parenting Club. Join today!

Ep #100: How to give consequences that work

Ep #100: How to give consequences that work

September 9, 2020

Welcome to episode 100! We are so grateful for all of you and look forward to the next 100 episodes!

We are excited to announce the Smarter Parenting Club. We know that families have different needs. The Smarter Parenting Club aims to meet families where they are, with three different levels. You will have access to exclusive content, podcasts, videos, coaching, and so much more in the club.

Sign up today! We can't wait for you to join us. Club.Smarterparenting.com

Giving consequences that work can be tricky. Frequently when giving a consequence, parents tend to go to the extreme, which leaves parents nowhere to go if it doesn't work.

A consequence aims to teach our child. Consequences are not punishments. When giving a consequence, parents should ask themselves, "What is the least amount of consequence to get my child to stop the negative behavior?"

Consequences must meet the five components of Effective Negative Consequences.

  • First, the consequence needs to be immediate and should happen as soon as possible after the negative behavior.
  • Second, it needs to match the inappropriate behavior. 
  • Third, you need to be able to follow through with consequences every time the negative behavior happens.
  • Fourth, you shouldn't give the same consequence for all negative behavior.
  • Fifth, the consequence should mean something to your child. If the consequence doesn't mean something to your child, they have no motivation to stop their negative behavior.

Learn about Effective Negative Consequences on SmarterParenting.com

For full show notes and transcript visit: https://www.smarterparenting.com/adhd-parenting-podcast/

We can’t wait to see you in the Smarter Parenting Club!

Ep #99: Creating connection with your child

Ep #99: Creating connection with your child

September 2, 2020

One of the best ways to create connections with your kids is to acknowledge what they are doing. We all want to feel that someone sees us.

Observe and Describe is a beautiful tool to help parents deepen connections with their kids as it allows them to describe what is happening without judgment or emotion. This is especially helpful when children struggle to communicate or if communication tends to be hostile.

When you use Observe and Describe with your child, or anybody for that matter, it signals to them that you are present and that what they are doing matters to you.  This knowledge will strengthen your relationship as they will feel that they can come to you about anything, and you will be there for them.

The more you use Observe and Describe, the more your children will reciprocate and show you the respect and understanding you are showing them. Which will help them to better understand and communicate with all people they come in contact with. 

The world can be a challenging place for children, but knowing you see and appreciate what they are doing will go a long way in helping them feel secure with themselves and their place in the world.

Even though Observe and Describe is simple to do it holds so much power. For more information on Observe and Describe visit: https://www.smarterparenting.com/adhd-parenting-podcast/

We are excited that we will be launching the Smarter Parenting Club. Stay tuned for details. Sign up today.  https://club.smarterparenting.com/

Ep #98: Helping kids go back to school

Ep #98: Helping kids go back to school

August 26, 2020

Helping kids go back to school, whether in person, online, or a hybrid, is different this year.

Knowing how to best deal with all the new challenges and unknowns can feel overwhelming. How do you keep your kids safe from Covid-19? How do you balance online learning and work responsibility? How do you keep kids focused?

In today’s podcast, ADHD Parenting Coach Siope Kinikini tackles those very issues and shows parents what they can do to find solutions that work for their family and their situation.

You can prepare and help your child find success this year. Just because it’s different doesn’t mean that it can’t be a great year.

This is a podcast you don’t want to miss!

For additional resources, full show notes and transcript visit: https://www.smarterparenting.com/adhd-parenting-podcast/

Join the Smarter Parenting club and get access to exclusive content. https://club.smarterparenting.com/

Ep #97: Feeling hopeful for the future

Ep #97: Feeling hopeful for the future

August 19, 2020

You can feel hopeful for the future. Yes, even in trying times, it is possible to feel that the future has incredible opportunities.

Every generation has faced struggles and challenges that have required new thoughts and preparations. Those who thrived were those who learned how to prepare for future challenges.

You can do the same. You can help your child do the same too. 

Think of yourself as an airplane pilot. When you're able to predict and prepare for what is happening ahead, it's comforting to your child. Not only do they see that they can trust you, they also feel empowered because they have things they can do to weather what is coming up. 

It's exactly what the skill of Preventive Teaching does. It allows you to prepare your child for anything that may happen in the future and gives them strategies that they can use that will work. When children feel prepared, it will reduce anxiety and increase their confidence.

You will love this podcast. You will feel comforted by the fact that you can help your child and have a bright and beautiful future.

Sign up for a coaching session through the Smarter Parenting Club and be filled with hope for the future of your family. https://club.smarterparenting.com/

For full show notes and transcript visit: https://www.smarterparenting.com/adhd-parenting-podcast/

Ep #96: Strengthening emotional connections with your child

Ep #96: Strengthening emotional connections with your child

August 12, 2020

Join the Smarter Parenting Club!

It’s only natural for children to seek out situations where they feel confident, competent, independent, and autonomous. As discussed in the previous podcast, many children turn to video games to help fulfill these needs. Parents can counter the positives children receive from playing video games by using Effective Praise.

Effective Praise can increase your connection with your child as it teaches you how to validate the good things your child is doing. When children feel approved by their parents, it increases their confidence, competence, independence, and autonomy, which strengthens the emotional bond you have with them. 

Getting praise signals to your child, “Hey, my parents are proud of me. My parents see what I’m doing well. I like it when they notice it. I want to keep doing this so they continue.”  

As that bond strengthens, the benefits will be that your child listens to you more. They will spend more time with you. They will seek out your advice. 

We can’t stress how important giving Effective Praise is. 

One of the steps of Effective Praise requires parents to give their children a reason why they should continue the positive behavior. This step is hard for many parents. Most of us, when giving a reason to behave a certain way, give a reason that’s meaningful to them and not always to the person they are talking to.

When parents are able to give their child a meaningful reason, they are more likely to repeat that behavior as they feel like they are getting something out behaving that way. It can take some trial and error to figure out the things that are important to your child. If you’re struggling to figure out what is motivating your child, look at how they spend their free time or money. Those tend to be things that matter to them.

This podcast will be so insightful in helping you create a better bond with your child.

For full show notes and transcript visit: https://www.smarterparenting.com/adhd-parenting-podcast/

Ep #95:Why video games are so addictive and what parents can do

Ep #95:Why video games are so addictive and what parents can do

August 5, 2020

One of the questions Parenting Coach Siope Kinikini gets asked frequently is how to help kids deal with video game addiction, and in this podcast, he shows parents how they can help their child by using Effective Praise. 

Why are video games so addictive? They are designed to fill four psychological needs in your children, trust, confidence, mastery, and autonomy, and fulfill these needs time and time again. The more kids play, the more they want to play because playing video games makes them feel good. It's also why kids can have a hard time when they are required to quit as they may not be getting the same level of reinforcement in the real world as they are getting from the virtual world.

A study on why video games are so addictive can be found here.

http://selfdeterminationtheory.org/SDT/documents/2010_PrzybylskiRigbyRyan_ROGP.pdf

Effective Praise fulfills your child's need for trust, confidence, mastery, and autonomy, which, in turn, allows them to thrive in the real world. Parents who use Effective Praise consistently give so much to their children and their children thrive.

For many parents, the hardest thing about using Effective Praise is knowing where to start. Sign up for Parenting Coaching session through the Smarter Parenting Club and let Siope Kinikini help you come up with a game plan. https://club.smarterparenting.com/

For full show notes and transcript, visit: https://www.smarterparenting.com/adhd-parenting-podcast/

Ep #94: Improving communication and increasing comprehension: Part 2

Ep #94: Improving communication and increasing comprehension: Part 2

July 29, 2020

How do you communicate with a child who doesn’t want to talk? In today’s podcast, ADHD Parenting Coach Siope Kinikini answers what parents can do when experiencing tension in communication.

When our children are having difficulty communicating, it’s our job to help them learn how to do it. Often that requires us to reframe our thoughts on what is happening. It can be easy to take their lack of communication as a personal slight, do not. Instead, see it as an opportunity for growth and understanding.

Children can be resistant to communication because they don’t know how or don’t feel comfortable giving their opinions because they’re afraid of how someone will respond.

Creating a space when they can communicate will be difficult for many parents as they will want to feel that space with their thoughts instead of allowing their children to express themselves. But the best thing you can do is to create this space as it will allow your child to open up and truly express themselves. This podcast will show you the steps you need to take to make this happen as it won't always be easy or natural.

Your child can learn to communicate and do it well.

For full show notes and transcript, visit: https://www.smarterparenting.com/adhd-parenting-podcast/

Sign up for the Smarter Parenting Club https://club.smarterparenting.com/

Ep #93: Improving communication and increasing comprehension: Part 1

Ep #93: Improving communication and increasing comprehension: Part 1

July 22, 2020

Most of us communicate to be heard, not necessarily to be understood. 

Think about that for a second. Think about how much time and frustration we could reduce if we changed HOW we communicated. We would no longer spend as much time arguing or fighting, and we would see our relationships improve and our kids--and others--would like being around us. 

What parent wouldn’t want that?

It’s not easy to change how we communicate. The behavior skill of Effective Communication gives parents the steps they need to communicate in a way that allows for comprehension. 

This is so so important. When someone feels genuinely listened to and heard, they are more likely to open up about issues, come to you for advice, and seek solutions.

Comprehension doesn’t mean that your child will always agree with what is being said, but they will understand why something is in place.

When everybody feels heard and understood, incredible things happen.

Learn the skill: https://www.smarterparenting.com/skills/effective-communication/

For full show notes and transcript visit: https://www.smarterparenting.com/adhd-parenting-podcast/

Sign up for the Smarter Parenting Club and  let Siope Kinikini help you improve your communication. https://www.smarterparenting.com/coaching/

Ep #92: Creating change and increasing confidence: Part 2

Ep #92: Creating change and increasing confidence: Part 2

July 15, 2020

In this episode, we continue our discussion on how Role-playing creates change and increases confidence in children and adults. If you haven’t listened to Part 1, we recommend you go back to episode 91.

https://adhd.smarterparenting.com/e/ep-91-creating-change-while-increasing-confidence-part-1/

All of us have biases based on our life experiences. These biases can make it hard for us to see another person’s viewpoint, which can hinder communication. One of the benefits of Role-playing is that it allows us to feel empathy for another person which helps us break down our biases. By understanding where someone is coming from, we can focus on building better relationships as we can improve and positively address things. This is especially important for helping your child with ADHD as they tend to see the world differently, and understanding how they see it goes a long way to understanding and finding solutions.

These biases also come into play in how we process the good or bad that someone is experiencing. When good things happen, we believe that it’s because of something we’ve done, and when bad things happen, it’s due to external forces.

Using Role-playing to increase empathy and understanding will have a ripple effect on your family and your relationships. If you are unsure how to use Role-playing, we hope you will join the Smarter Parenting Club where Siope Kinikini will be able to walk you through Role-playing and what you need to do to help your family find success. https://club.smarterparenting.com/

For show notes and transcript visit: https://www.smarterparenting.com/adhd-parenting-podcast/

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