![The ADHD Smarter Parenting‘s Podcast](https://pbcdn1.podbean.com/imglogo/image-logo/4701387/ADHD-logo.png)
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Drawing on years of experience working with families, Parenting Coaches Siope Kinikini and Kimber Petersen share how families can improve, heal, and find success using the proven methods of the Teaching-Family Model. Visit smarterparenting.com to learn more.
Episodes
![Ep #107: How to communicate with those you disagree with](https://pbcdn1.podbean.com/imglogo/ep-logo/pbblog4701387/ep-107-how-to-communicate-with-those-you-disagree-witth_300x300.jpg)
Wednesday Oct 28, 2020
Ep #107: How to communicate with those you disagree with
Wednesday Oct 28, 2020
Wednesday Oct 28, 2020
If there is one podcast we recommend listening to in the wake of what is going on globally, this is it.
We hope you will share it once you have listened to it.
Many have lost the ability to discuss topics they feel strongly about with someone who doesn't share their viewpoint without it turning ugly. Cancel culture, name-calling, fear of retribution, and lack of civility are alive and well.
This lack of civility is dangerous because it doesn't encourage growth or moving forward. Instead, we become even more passionate about what we believe.
We don't have to agree with someone, but we can learn to communicate openly and safely that fosters understanding. We must teach our children how to do this as we want a world where our children can express themselves and allow others to do the same.
Our view of the world is shaped by what we have experienced, and we view those experiences as sacred. When those beliefs are attacked, it can feel very personal, which creates an emotional response.
When someone believes something different from us and presents that viewpoint, it creates internal feelings of conflict as we don't like having what we believe challenged. This is called cognitive dissonance. Cognitive dissonance makes us feel uncomfortable when a different viewpoint is presented. There's inner turmoil to figure out where this person is coming from and why they believe what they believe, so often, it is easier not to wade into, but rather to become defensive and dismissive as we see it as a way to protect what we believe.
What parent doesn't want their child to feel comfortable coming to them and talking about sexuality and sex, what they believe (even if it's different than you), cause and movements, politics, and life-choices? If you haven't created a place where understanding can occur, these will not be productive conversations. Instead, these conversations could lead to a breakdown in relationships.
Effective Communication breaks down barriers and the emotional response we have, which allows us to get to a place where we can find solutions and understanding. Effective Communication will enable us to create a safe space to discuss difficult topics without it getting personal or argumentative.
Stephen R. Covey said, "Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply."
Effective Communication shows us how to listen and understand where the other person is coming from. Remember, you don't always have to agree with what they say. When you know where someone is coming from, you are more likely to find solutions and understanding.
Let’s use Effective Communication to create connections instead of division.
To learn more about Effective Communication, visit the Smarter Parenting website: https://www.smarterparenting.com/skills/effective-communication/
![Join the Smarter Parenting Club and help your family](https://pbcdn1.podbean.com/imglogo/ep-logo/pbblog4701387/News_300x300.jpg)
Tuesday Oct 27, 2020
Join the Smarter Parenting Club and help your family
Tuesday Oct 27, 2020
Tuesday Oct 27, 2020
The Smarter Parenting Club wants to help you take your parenting to the next level!
https://www.smarterparenting.com/coaching/
With three tiers, you will find the level of help your family needs.
The Silver Tier is our self-coaching where you will have access to recorded coaching sessions, the Smarter Parenting course, weekly Q&A sessions, as well as exclusive club content.
The Gold Tier gives you access to everything in the Silver Tier plus one coaching session a month with our Parenting Coach.
The Platinum Tier includes everything in the Silver Tier plus 3 coaching sessions a month with our Parenting Coach.
We can't wait to see you in the Smarter Parenting Club. Join today!
![Ep #106: When parents aren't on the same page](https://pbcdn1.podbean.com/imglogo/ep-logo/pbblog4701387/ep-106-when-parents-arent-on-the-same-page_300x300.jpg)
Wednesday Oct 21, 2020
Ep #106: When parents aren't on the same page
Wednesday Oct 21, 2020
Wednesday Oct 21, 2020
Not on the same page as your partner when it comes to parenting? You are not alone. How do we get on the same page is one of the most frequently asked parenting questions we receive.
No two parents’ parent the same. Because of life experiences, including how they were raised, it’s not uncommon for parents to have different parenting styles and priorities. The goal is to find ways to work through parenting differences and find solutions that both parents are happy with and implement.
If you and your partner can’t agree, it leads to inconsistent parenting practices. Inconsistent parenting practices are problematic for children as it sends mixed messages, and they are never entirely sure what they are supposed to do and who they should follow. For example, if you believe that your child must do chores, but your partner doesn’t, how does your child know what to do?
When dealing with conflict resolution, Harvard University’s course on conflict resolution recommends the following things: (https://www.pon.harvard.edu/daily/conflict-resolution/conflict-resolution-strategies/)
- Recognize we all have biases
- Overcome the "us vs. them" mindset
- Look beneath the surface to identify deeper issues
- Separate pseudo-sacred from sacred issues
When parents use these strategies, they can find solutions that work for both parties. Using these strategies in conjunction with Effecting Communication and Decision Making (SODAS Method) helps parents do just that.
Effective Communication allows you to feel heard and understood, while Decision Making helps you find solutions that work for both parties.
You can find the skills on the Smarter Parenting website: https://www.smarterparenting.com/
If you need specific help finding solutions for getting on the same page, join the Smarter Parenting Club. https://www.smarterparenting.com/coaching/
![Ep #105: Helping kids who struggle with correction](https://pbcdn1.podbean.com/imglogo/ep-logo/pbblog4701387/ep-105-helping-kids-who-struggle-with-correction_300x300.jpg)
Wednesday Oct 14, 2020
Ep #105: Helping kids who struggle with correction
Wednesday Oct 14, 2020
Wednesday Oct 14, 2020
Most children don't like being corrected. For some children, that correction can be difficult and paralyzing. Children who struggle more than normal with being corrected may be suffering from Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria.
Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria means that they don't handle rejection well and get very upset if someone criticizes them, often to the point of focusing only on the criticism. For example, you could give a hundred positives about something they did well, but all they will remember is the one small criticism in a 100 positives.
Children with ADHD tend to be more prone to Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria and can believe they are a problem instead of having a problem.
Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria is real and can cause difficulties in relationships, school, and jobs. They tend to blame themselves, focus on the negative, or have trouble believing any praise given to them.
Correcting Behaviors' goal is to help them see that the correction doesn't mean they are a terrible person as the Teaching-Family Model skills are relationship-focused.
By being faithful to the steps, your child can see and understand that correction doesn't happen willy-nilly, but rather you are on their side to help them learn. It also helps them to realize that you are not here to punish them.
Correcting Behaviors can be incredible in helping your child deal with their Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria.
If you're struggling with knowing how to correct your child best, sign up for coaching in the Smarter Parenting club and let us find tailored solutions for your family.
For full show notes visit: https://www.smarterparenting.com/adhd-parenting-podcast/
![Ep #104: Investing in your child and your relationship](https://pbcdn1.podbean.com/imglogo/ep-logo/pbblog4701387/ep-104-investing-in-your-child-and-your-relationship_300x300.jpg)
Wednesday Oct 07, 2020
Ep #104: Investing in your child and your relationship
Wednesday Oct 07, 2020
Wednesday Oct 07, 2020
As parents, we have limited time to invest in our children. We can, though, make our investment count--even with limited time. How? By focusing our energy and efforts on the areas that will create the most return by using Effective Praise.
Effective Praise helps you focus on what your children are doing well, no matter how small, and letting them know what you saw.
Using the skill of Effective Praise builds your relationship in multiple ways.
- It signals to your child that they matter. When children feel like they are valued, they are more likely to respond positively to correction.
- It focuses on the positive instead of the negative. Where we focus our energy is what will grow. The more positive interactions we have with our children now, the more positive interactions we will have with them in the future.
- It helps your child understand what is expected of them. By pointing out the positive, you are encouraging them to repeat that behavior in the future.
- It strengthens your relationship. Your child will trust, respect, and love you because they will understand that you are there to help them grow and be successful and they will not want to disappoint you.
Effective Praise doesn’t require huge effort or time, but we promise the return will be incredible.
Learn how to give Effective Praise by visiting SmarterParenting.com: https://www.smarterparenting.com/skills/effective-praise/
If you need one-on-one help to implement Effective Praise, join the Smarter Parenting Club: https://www.smarterparenting.com/coaching/