![The ADHD Smarter Parenting‘s Podcast](https://pbcdn1.podbean.com/imglogo/image-logo/4701387/ADHD-logo.png)
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Drawing on years of experience working with families, Parenting Coaches Siope Kinikini and Kimber Petersen share how families can improve, heal, and find success using the proven methods of the Teaching-Family Model. Visit smarterparenting.com to learn more.
Episodes
![Ep #10: Teaching-Family Model and therapy with Jesse Heaton](https://pbcdn1.podbean.com/imglogo/ep-logo/pbblog4701387/smarter-parenting-in-therapy_300x300.jpg)
Tuesday May 21, 2019
Ep #10: Teaching-Family Model and therapy with Jesse Heaton
Tuesday May 21, 2019
Tuesday May 21, 2019
The Teaching-Family Model and therapy go hand-in-hand in helping families regain control.
In Episode 10, ADHD parenting coach Siope Kinikini, talks with therapist Jesse Heaton and how he uses Smarter Parenting to help support his ADHD clients.
Smarter Parenting is a division of Utah Youth Village. Utah Youth Village is dedicated to helping families learn the behavior skills of the Teaching-Family Model. Utah Youth Village has changed the lives of thousands of families.
The most effective behavior management plans involve both therapy and behavior skills at home. A therapist will only work with your child for a few hours during a therapy session, and why valuable, they can’t address everything.
Using behavior skills in conjunction with therapy, allows you to continue to address what they are working on at home. It also gives you and your therapist the same language that reduces confusion and ensures that all are on the same page. This can be especially helpful for your child as they know both you and their therapist will be using the same words and instructions.
Therapy helps your child understand what they are feeling and how to express those feelings appropriately.
Often the behavior issues you see at home, your child doesn’t show at therapy. Be open with your therapist about what behaviors you are seeing and what is their triggers. The behavior skills of Effective Communication and Observe and Describe are especially helpful.
Using the Teaching-Family Model and therapy together will bring significant changes as you consistently use the behavior skills with your child at home.
![Ep #9: ADHD or bad parenting](https://pbcdn1.podbean.com/imglogo/ep-logo/pbblog4701387/bad-parenting-cause-adhd_300x300.jpg)
Tuesday May 14, 2019
Ep #9: ADHD or bad parenting
Tuesday May 14, 2019
Tuesday May 14, 2019
As an ADHD parent, one of the most hurtful statements someone can say to you is, “Is it ADHD or bad parenting?” In that statement, whether, it’s a family member, a friend, or a stranger, they minimize the diagnosis of your child and the struggles of parents dealing with ADHD. It makes it feel like you can’t do anything right, and you’re all alone in parenting an ADHD child.
As someone who has ADHD, I find it mind-blowing when someone feels the need to tell me that ADHD doesn’t exist. ADHD is not a “made-up diagnosis.” ADHD is a real disorder that is recognized by the American Psychological Association and comes with real symptoms and behavior. ADHD behavior has been studied since the late 1800s.
To those who say we’ve gone overboard in the ADHD diagnosis, there is some truth in that. An ADHD diagnosis requires a child to exhibit specific behavior and to be diagnosed by a medical professional, but sometimes a parent or a teacher gives a child the “diagnosis” of ADHD. While well-meaning, it serves to bolster the opinion of those who don’t believe that ADHD is real or that it’s just bad parenting.
If you believe your child may have ADHD, it’s essential to make sure they get a diagnosis from a medical professional.
While ADHD behavior can be made worse by inconsistent parenting, bad parenting doesn’t cause your child to have ADHD. Having a child who acts up doesn’t make you a bad parent (though we know there are days when you feel like it does).
The reason many believe ADHD is due to bad parents is that the symptoms of ADHD make ADHD discipline more difficult. ADHD children don’t always behave in like other children.
The parenting skills we reference in these podcasts will help you handle your child’s behavior in a positive way. As you feel confident in your ability to manage your child’s behavior, you’ll be better prepared to handle the hurtful comment of “Is it ADHD or bad parenting?”
Parents dealing with ADHD don’t need the blame game. They need people to believe them. They need support. They need resources. Parenting an ADHD child requires you to become an advocate for your child and to help bring ADHD awareness to family and friends on what ADHD behavior and diagnosis mean.
Subscribe to the ADHD Smarter Parenting Podcast.
![Ep #8: What ADHD parents don't need to hear](https://pbcdn1.podbean.com/imglogo/ep-logo/pbblog4701387/ADHD-parenting-podcast-episode-8-what-not-to-say-adhd-parents_300x300.jpg)
Tuesday May 07, 2019
Ep #8: What ADHD parents don't need to hear
Tuesday May 07, 2019
Tuesday May 07, 2019
In podcast #8, ADHD Parenting Coach, Siope Kinikini, discusses five things that ADHD parents don’t need to hear.
We know receiving unsolicited advice is a problem for many ADHD parents. It seems as soon as someone knows your child has ADHD the comments start. “Don’t worry; they’ll outgrow ADHD.” “They don’t have ADHD; they’re a troublemaker.” “Your child gets unfair advantage because of ‘ADHD.’” Or “I’m sure it’s not as bad as you say it is.”
In many cases, the person making the comment doesn’t understand the devastating impact their words have. They think they’re being helpful or supportive. In reality, they’re doing the opposite. They’re making ADHD parents feel judged, isolated, and overwhelmed.
When speaking to a parent of ADHD child, please don’t say the following five things to them.
First, ADHD doesn’t exist. Second, Everybody has ADHD. Third, ADHD is new, and now everybody has it. Fourth, I would never medicate my child. Fifth, ADHD is an excuse for bad parenting.
First, ADHD doesn’t exist. This is hurtful to parents because it does exist, and many parents would rather their child didn’t have ADHD. To get an ADHD diagnosis it has to be diagnosed by a medical professional, the child has to meet specific criteria, and it’s a lengthy and rigorous process to get a diagnosis as other issues have to be ruled out.
Second, everybody has ADHD. When you say this, it minimizes the struggles that parents and child face when dealing with ADHD. Like any other diagnosis, ADHD exists on a scale from mild to severe. Your experience with ADHD may not be the same as other parents. You may have a mild form of ADHD that was reasonably easy to handle, but that may not be the case for every parent you’re talking to.
Third, ADHD is new, and everybody has it. ADHD has been around for a long time and has a lot of research into what it is and the best ways to treat it.
Fourth, I would never medicate my child.
This statement is full of judgment and may come across that you’re better than they are. The decision to medicate a child isn’t taken lightly and often comes at the recommendation of the child’s physician as medication may be the best course for that child.
Fifth, ADHD is an excuse for bad parenting. There is never a time or place for this statement. When you say this to a parent, you’re essentially telling them that they’re inept and not able to be a good parent. Which can be devastating to a parent who is doing everything they can to help their child. Remember that ADHD is a medical diagnosis, much like cancer is.
What ADHD parents need is someone to be a listening ear. They need someone to encourage them and to be there for them. They are already struggling with feelings of failure and inadequacy, and hurtful comments don’t help. You don’t understand the challenges they may be facing in raising their child.
Remember that ADHD parents don’t need to hear negative comments. Parenting is hard enough, so please, please be kind when talking to any parent.
![Ep #7: ADHD and anger issues in kids](https://pbcdn1.podbean.com/imglogo/ep-logo/pbblog4701387/ADHD-parenting-podcast-episode-7-ADHD-bad-parenting_1__300x300.jpg)
Wednesday May 01, 2019
Ep #7: ADHD and anger issues in kids
Wednesday May 01, 2019
Wednesday May 01, 2019
ADHD and anger issues often go hand in hand, and dealing with it is a significant stress for most parents. ADHD Parenting Coach, Siope Kinikini, helps parents understand the real reason behind their child’s anger and gives ADHD strategies for dealing.
How to deal with a child with anger issues is a question that Siope is frequently asked. Parents want to know how to deal with the situation without it blowing up even more. But more than that, they want to know how to reduce future episodes of ADHD and aggression by doing things that help diffuse the situation instead of inflaming it.
The best way to deal with anger issues to understand what is happening in your child’s body when they are angry. The ADHD strategy that has worked well for countless families is to know why we get angry. We get angry because what you want or hoped for didn’t happen the way you wanted it to happen. Think about that. Anger stems because someone’s behavior or actions didn’t go how we wanted them to go, and we become frustrated.
Understanding anger means understanding how you arrive at that emotion. This understanding is crucial when talking to your child with ADHD. Most ADHD children are already working on something that has a level of frustration for them. What do we mean by this? Your child may already be working on sitting still, paying attention, not talking, focusing on what is being said. They know they need to work on these things as they're constantly being told. They’re already feeling anxious and frustrated as they’re trying hard to fulfill what we’ve asked them to do and they’re struggling to do it. So when we add another instruction on that, bam, they’re even more frustrated, and that frustration often manifests as anger.
While we may look at a small instruction as “no big deal.” It’s a “huge deal” to them. It means that they’re feeling anger/frustration on multiple things and the last instruction happened to be the instruction that pushed them over the edge.
Understanding this principle will help you be able to teach them about what is happening with their body and how to deal in a more positive way when an expectation isn’t met. Disappointment is part of life, but our goal is to teach them how to deal with ADHD anger management in a better way.
The problem most parents face is being able to break down complicated feelings or ideas so that their children understand. This knowledge is especially difficult with very young children. It is why breaking things down into small instructions is important. It helps them not feel overwhelmed and frustrated. How to calm a child with ADHD who is in the middle of an angry outburst it to remember three things. First, remain calm as it will help to deescalate the situation. Second, stay focused. Third, be consistent.
ADHD and anger issues are manageable if you apply the ADHD strategies learned in this podcast.
Join the Smarter Parenting Club and we can help you with individual strategies for dealing with your child's anger. https://club.smarterparenting.com/