![The ADHD Smarter Parenting‘s Podcast](https://pbcdn1.podbean.com/imglogo/image-logo/4701387/ADHD-logo.png)
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Drawing on years of experience working with families, Parenting Coaches Siope Kinikini and Kimber Petersen share how families can improve, heal, and find success using the proven methods of the Teaching-Family Model. Visit smarterparenting.com to learn more.
Episodes
![Ep #111:Why consequences aren't working](https://pbcdn1.podbean.com/imglogo/ep-logo/pbblog4701387/ep-111-why-the-consequences-your-giving-arent-working_300x300.jpg)
Wednesday Nov 25, 2020
Ep #111:Why consequences aren't working
Wednesday Nov 25, 2020
Wednesday Nov 25, 2020
Have you ever given a consequence that hasn't worked? We know we have.
Implementing consequences that work to change behavior can be difficult for many parents. Often, we continue to give consequences repeatedly that don't work, which only increases our frustration level.
Learning how to give consequences that work is made easier when parents use Effective Negative Consequences. Effective Negative Consequences gives parents the 5 elements they need to make a consequence work for their child.
Giving consequences that work is difficult because no two children or situations are the same, even though we often treat them the same.
Parents may struggle with consequences because consequences are often given as an emotional response where "grounding them for a year" seems like a good idea. Consequences given as an emotional response don't tend to be as effective because they are often too big.
When you give consequences that are too big for the behavior, often you aren't able to follow through. That teaches your child that their negative behavior doesn't matter as they will not truly get a consequence for their behavior. Which only leads them to repeat the action.
When parents use the five elements of Effective Negative Consequences, it signals to their child a few things.
First, it signals that you are disappointed in the behavior and not in them. This distinction is crucial as it allows you to strengthen your relationship even when you're giving them consequences.
Second, it allows them to see that you value them as a person. When you give tailored and essential consequences to your child, you are signaling that they matter to you.
Third, it helps them know you're interested in helping them change and be better. The purpose of a consequence is to teach and not to punish.
If you need additional help learning how to give consequences that work, sign up for parenting coaching. Both the gold and platinum tier of the Smarter Parenting club provides coaching.
![Ep #110: Anxiety management strategies for kids](https://pbcdn1.podbean.com/imglogo/ep-logo/pbblog4701387/ep-110-anxiety-management-strategies-for-kids_300x300.jpg)
Wednesday Nov 18, 2020
Ep #110: Anxiety management strategies for kids
Wednesday Nov 18, 2020
Wednesday Nov 18, 2020
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Children with ADHD often deal with other issues, including anxiety. The combination of both ADHD and anxiety can make it doubly hard for them to effectively handle situations where they're expected to behave a certain way.
Teaching them anxiety management strategies allows them to plan for and deal with situations in a way that reduces their anxiety. Anxiety management strategies don't have to be complicated. The most successful calming strategies are those that your child can do no matter the situation.
Some calm down strategies include breathing techniques, visualizing feelings, and physical grounding.
When teaching them calming techniques, it's essential to work with your child and model what you would like them to do. By modeling what they need to do, your child understands what is expected, removing confusion.
Using the ABC's of Behavior, you can find ways to address situations before, during, and after. The more you can help your child address situations early using anxiety management techniques, the more successfully your child can handle their anxiety.
You can find the ABC’s of Behavior on the Smarter Parenting website.
If you need additional help dealing with your ADHD child’s anxiety, sign up for parenting coaching. Both the gold and platinum tier of the Smarter Parenting club provides coaching.
![Ep #109: Individualizing rewards and consequences](https://pbcdn1.podbean.com/imglogo/ep-logo/pbblog4701387/ep-109-individualizing-rewards-and-consequences_300x300.jpg)
Wednesday Nov 11, 2020
Ep #109: Individualizing rewards and consequences
Wednesday Nov 11, 2020
Wednesday Nov 11, 2020
As parents, we want things to be fair when we give rewards or consequences. Fair does not mean the same, however, as no two children or situations are.
Individualizing rewards and consequences improves their effectiveness as it shows your child that you are interested in what they value. It also makes sure you're giving a reward or consequence that matters to your child. For example, one child may see not playing with friends as a consequence, where another might see that as a reward.
If the reward or consequence doesn't matter to your child, it will not help them learn.
The goal of rewards and consequences is to teach your child what you expect. They should never be used to punish your child. Punishing always goes to the extreme, which is less effective than starting small and adding consequences as needed.
When you focus on teaching your child, it helps your child move forward and know what to do next time. This knowledge increases their self-confidence and ability to make wise decisions.
Giving rewards and consequences that are different can be a struggle. By following the five components of Effective Positive Rewards or Effective Negative Consequences, you are better able to find individualized solutions that work for your child.
You can learn more about Effective Positive Rewards or Effective Negative Consequences at Smarter Parenting.
![Ep #108: Being more effective when giving consequences and rewards](https://pbcdn1.podbean.com/imglogo/ep-logo/pbblog4701387/ep-108-being-more-effective-in-giving-rewards-and-consequences_300x300.jpg)
Wednesday Nov 04, 2020
Ep #108: Being more effective when giving consequences and rewards
Wednesday Nov 04, 2020
Wednesday Nov 04, 2020
Giving more effective consequences and rewards require parents to understand the difference between values and interests.
Values and interests are separate and serve different purposes, especially when helping change your child’s behavior using either Effective Negative Consequences or Effective Positive Rewards.
Values are what you believe and what you want your child to learn—things like confidence, hard work, honesty, kindness, and integrity. Interests are things that you like to do—such as playing sports, music, or travel.
Parents should use interest to help teach values when giving an Effective Negative Conseqeunces or an Effective Positive Rewards. For example, parents can use the interest of time with friends to teach the values of purpose, hard work, honesty, accountability, or responsibility. By combining both values and interests, you will be more successful.
Effective Negative Consequences and Effective Positive Rewards are two sides of the same coin and can both be used to change behavior. Which one to use will be determined by what you need to teach. For some situations, a consequence may be the best course of action for a particular behavior. For many children, though, Effective Positive Rewards are more effective in changing behavior than consequences. Many children may be more motivated to earn extra time if they come by curfew than by losing time if they’re late.
It’s essential to sit down and evaluate the values you want to teach your children, as this will give you a better game plan for using their interests to do so.
If you’re struggling with using interests to teach values, we recommend joining the gold or platinum level of the Smarter Parenting Club. Both of those levels allow for coaching and individualized help and solutions.
Please help us continue to provide this podcast. Donate or join the Silver level in the Smarter Parenting Club.