![The ADHD Smarter Parenting‘s Podcast](https://pbcdn1.podbean.com/imglogo/image-logo/4701387/ADHD-logo.png)
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Drawing on years of experience working with families, Parenting Coaches Siope Kinikini and Kimber Petersen share how families can improve, heal, and find success using the proven methods of the Teaching-Family Model. Visit smarterparenting.com to learn more.
Episodes
![Ep #46: Understanding the ABC's of Behavior](https://pbcdn1.podbean.com/imglogo/ep-logo/pbblog4701387/ep-46-abc-behavior_300x300.jpg)
Wednesday Nov 27, 2019
Ep #46: Understanding the ABC's of Behavior
Wednesday Nov 27, 2019
Wednesday Nov 27, 2019
The ABC’s of Behavior is a powerful tool in helping understand behavior and why it happens. Understanding what causes challenging behavior and what to do once it begins gives parents a better way to handle problems. This in turn strengthens the relationship we have with our child. It also teaches them how to successfully navigate the world around them without our help.
The ABC’s of Behavior is an acronym. It stands for Antecedent, Behavior, and Consequence.
Antecedent means what happened before the behavior. It requires us looking at what happened 30 seconds, 5 minutes, or even an hour or two beforehand. The goal with the antecedent is to understand what the catalyst was for the behavior. Did they get in trouble at school? Did they miss a nap or snack? Did they break a favorite toy? Did someone say something mean to them? When we understand what caused the behavior, we can give them tools to either prevent or better handle the problem when it or something similar reoccurs.
Behavior is what is happening. Behavior could mean sulking, throwing things, yelling, or being angry. Behavior is what we want to prevent, change, or fix. Addressing behavior at this stage is less effective than addressing it before it becomes a problem.
Consequence is what happens after the behavior. What consequence(s) or reward(s) did they receive? We may be reinforcing negative behaviors by giving a reward instead of a consequence. If we reward our child with a sucker after a tantrum, we reinforce that throwing a tantrum is the way to get a sucker. Consequences should match the behavior and should teach and not punish a child.
The ABC’s of Behavior is one of the skills of the Teaching-Family Model. The Teaching-Family Model is one of the most highly researched evidence-based treatment methods in the world. It has been used since the 1960s by practitioners all over the world because it works!
For more information about the ABC’s of Behavior and the rest of the behavior skills of the Teaching-Family Model visit: https://www.smarterparenting.com/lesson/view/the-abcs-of-behavior/ For full show notes and transcript visit: https://www.smarterparenting.com/adhd-parenting-podcast
![Ep #45: How--quality components of the Teaching-Family Model](https://pbcdn1.podbean.com/imglogo/ep-logo/pbblog4701387/EP-45-QUALITY-COMPONENTS-HOW_300x300.jpg)
Monday Nov 25, 2019
Ep #45: How--quality components of the Teaching-Family Model
Monday Nov 25, 2019
Monday Nov 25, 2019
The Teaching-Family Model incorporates quality components into each behavior skills to bring about change in your child while strengthening relationships. Quality components are the ability to recognize the quality of what we're doing when it comes to the interactions with our child to get the outcome we want.
Not all the interactions we have with our children are quality. Sometimes our voice tone isn't appropriate. Sometimes our body language may be threatening. Sometimes we assume our children hear us or understand what we mean.
The Teaching-Family has built-in checking to make sure we're using quality components. Along the way, it requires us to evaluate how we are doing? Are we using an appropriate voice tone? Are we teaching each of the steps? Is our child internalizing the steps of the skills?
It's these built-in quality components where the real power of the Teaching-Family Model lies. Quality components are there to strengthen and build relationships and to give parents the parental guidance they need.
While using quality components may sound overwhelming, it's not. Quality components become second nature as you use the behavior skills found on Smarter Parenting. Any parent willing to spend the time to learn the behavior skills will see change. Behavior skills work! Using behavior skills will make your life easier as they will give you the tools you need to raise successful children.
Using the five elements of the Teaching-Family Model truly is the roadmap your family needs to begin seeing change today!
For full show notes and transcript visit: https://www.smarterparenting.com/adhd-parenting-podcast/
To learn the behavior skills of Smarter Parenting visit:https://www.smarterparenting.com/
Join the Smarter Parenting Club. https://club.smarterparenting.com/
![Ep #44: Where am I emotionally?](https://pbcdn1.podbean.com/imglogo/ep-logo/pbblog4701387/ep-44-where-am-i-emotionally_300x300.jpg)
Wednesday Nov 20, 2019
Ep #44: Where am I emotionally?
Wednesday Nov 20, 2019
Wednesday Nov 20, 2019
Before being able to teach behavior skills effectively, parents need to ask, "Where am I emotionally?" Understanding where they are emotionally is vital in teaching your kids. Remember, our first role is parents as teachers. If we are frustrated, angry, upset, or stressed, we aren't effective in helping our children change their negative behavior.
Parents need to take time to make sure they are emotionally aware. It can be difficult when we are dealing with situations that can be stressful. It may mean taking a few minutes to decompress, allowing yourself a treat, breathing exercises, or going for a walk, etc. Each of us will have a different way to regulate.
Asking ourselves, "Where am I emotionally?" allows us to approach teaching behavior skills without the emotions that would sabotage and to be aware of what behavior skill we need to teach our child. Being calm allows us to walk our children through the steps of behavior skills. It's using the steps where change happens. If you want to be successful in changing negative behavior for positive behavior, you have to use the steps of the behavior skills found on SmarterParenting.com. We can't stress enough that change happens when using the steps. Learn the steps of the behavior skills if you want to see change happen in your family.
Raising children isn't easy. Children have their own thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Dealing with those can be hard if we aren't emotionally aware of where they and we are. If we are angry, stressed, or frustrated, often we pass those feelings onto our children and make the situation worse. The same goes for our children. Understanding where our children are emotionally makes teaching behavior skills more successful. If they are frustrated, angry, or upset, they won't be in a place to learn or make changes.
Learning behavior skills require patience, but the payoffs hard massive. The behavior skills found on Smarter Parenting help parents make the changes: https://www.smarterparenting.com/lesson/
Need help implementing behavior skills? Join the Smarter Parenting Club. https://club.smarterparenting.com/
For full show notes and transcript visit: https://www.smarterparenting.com/adhd-parenting-podcast/
![Ep #43: When--teaching to negative behaviors](https://pbcdn1.podbean.com/imglogo/ep-logo/pbblog4701387/42-when-teach-neagative-behaviors_300x300.jpg)
Monday Nov 18, 2019
Ep #43: When--teaching to negative behaviors
Monday Nov 18, 2019
Monday Nov 18, 2019
Today’s podcast covers the when pillar. In implementing new teaching, parents ask, “When is a good time to teach behavior skills to address problems?? The answer: As soon as possible.
The object of any corrective teaching is to bring a child back to a non-escalated state as quickly as possible.
By teaching to the negative behavior as soon as possible, you keep the problem from escalating. The longer you wait until you address the behavior, the more work you have to do to correct their behavior.
Each of us has a tolerance level of what behaviors we will accept before intervening. For some parents, they have a very low tolerance level and step in very early on to address problems. For other parents, they have a very high tolerance level and will only step in after things have gotten way out of hand.
We should work to have low tolerance levels as having low tolerance levels makes life more comfortable and improve relationships with our kids.
What does this acttually look like?
Your son is playing with your daughter, and she takes his toy. Because you have a low tolerance level, you would intervene at this point and work to deescalate the situation.
What if you don’t step in? Think of what happens next. Your daughter has taken another toy. Now your son is not only crying, but he’s also starting yelling and getting angry. He tries to grab the toy from his sister. She’s teasing him and holding the toy away. His frustrating level has now reached a breaking point, and he starts hitting his sister.
Do you see how much more corrective you need to do to address the situation because you waited to step in?
How long will parents need to teach new behaviors? As long as it takes. There is no magic formula as you’re working with children who have their own thoughts, feelings, and personalities. It may be frustrating if the change is slow. Keep at it. Eventually, you will see a return on your investment.
The behavior skills that parents need to teach their children come from the Teaching-Family Model and can be found on SmarterParenting.com.
For full show notes and transcripts visit: https://www.smarterparenting.com/adhd-parenting-podcast/
Join the Smarter Parenting Club. https://club.smarterparenting.com/
![Ep #42: What parents need to teach--behavior skills](https://pbcdn1.podbean.com/imglogo/ep-logo/pbblog4701387/what-teach-behavior-skills_300x300.jpg)
Wednesday Nov 13, 2019
Ep #42: What parents need to teach--behavior skills
Wednesday Nov 13, 2019
Wednesday Nov 13, 2019
The third element of ADHD Parenting Coaching is what. What should I teach to help my kids be successful and create a better family life? The answer to the question is simple. Parents should be teaching behavior skills. Behavior skills set expectations and allow families to build strong bonds. Behavior skills make parents’ lives more comfortable as they reduce frustration, anger, and feelings of hopelessness.
In the 1960s, 20 million dollars of research was done into successful parenting techniques. The study found was that successful parents did very similar things. Sometimes parents understood what they were doing, and other times they didn’t. Researchers determined that parents could be taught how to be successful parents and the behavior skills of
Teaching-Family Model was born. The behavior skills of the Teaching-Family Model are parenting guides that give parents the steps and words they need to implement the skill successfully.
Each behavior skill is on SmarterParenting.com is broken down into concrete steps. These steps help parents know what to do and how to do it. Each behavior skills creates a different outcome.
For almost 60 years, parents, teachers, therapists, and other personnel have used the Teaching-Family Model to help kids and families find success. It works! Studies have confirmed that teaching behavior skills are possible and create favorable outcomes.
The goal of using behavior skills is to teach your child how to navigate the world without you. The steps of the skills are pretty straightforward. Sometimes parents struggle in the implementation of them and need some help with parenting skills
ADHD Parenting Coaching allows our ADHD expert, Siope Kinikini, to look at your family's needs and determine a tailored action plan.
Sign-up for a free 15-minute mini-session and watch the behavior skills of the Teaching-Family Model transform your life.
For full show notes and transcripts visit: https://www.smarterparenting.com/adhd-parenting-podcast/
Join the Smarter Parenting Club. https://club.smarterparenting.com/
![Ep #41: How I coach parents of kids with ADHD](https://pbcdn1.podbean.com/imglogo/ep-logo/pbblog4701387/how-coach-parents-adhd-kids_300x300.jpg)
Monday Nov 11, 2019
Ep #41: How I coach parents of kids with ADHD
Monday Nov 11, 2019
Monday Nov 11, 2019
ADHD parenting coach, Siope Kinikini, is often asked how he coaches parents and families. In episode 41, he walks through what an ADHD Parenting Coaching session looks like using the five elements of the Teaching-Family Model.
The five elements of the Teaching-Family Model are: What, where, how, when and
Many parents ask, “What do I do” but that question is too open to be useful. The first element, “What skills am I going to use?” allows parents to start looking specifically at issues and find solutions.
Element two is, “Where am I teaching this?” A parent needs to look at where in their schedule would teaching be most effective. It also means looking at where is my child’s understanding and teaching to that to create success.
Element three is, “How do I teach?” The behavior skills on Smarter Parenting answer how as they have specific steps that outline how parents should respond. These steps take out the guess-work and help parents focus on repairing relationships.
Element four is, “When do I know if they understand?” It will take some time, which is why Role-playing or practicing is vital to help them learn new behaviors. You’ll know they understand what you’re teaching when they’re able to do it multiple times on their own.
Lastly, element five is “The Why.” Why are we so passionate about helping families? We want to strengthen families and show parents how to raise kids that can navigate the world around them.
The behavior skills taught on Smarter Parenting helps parents accomplish these five elements. Which, in turn, reduces stress and anger and improves communication and relationships.
Sometimes we all need a parenting friend to help us. If you need some individualized help, we would love to help with ADHD Parenting Coaching. Where we will go into details with the problems your family is facing and determine an individual course of action that will allow you to get the outcomes you want. We want all parents to be able to take advantage of the opportunity to be coached and offer free 15-minute mini-session.
Join the Smarter Parenting Club. https://club.smarterparenting.com/
![Ep #40: When do I need ADHD Parenting Coaching?](https://pbcdn1.podbean.com/imglogo/ep-logo/pbblog4701387/ep-40-when-ahdh-coaching_300x300.jpg)
Wednesday Nov 06, 2019
Ep #40: When do I need ADHD Parenting Coaching?
Wednesday Nov 06, 2019
Wednesday Nov 06, 2019
There is no shame in having an ADHD Parenting Coach. We recommend getting ADHD Parenting Coaching long before issues become significant problems.
What is a parenting coach? A parenting coach is an objective person who can give you parenting skills and help you find positive parenting solutions to the challenges your family is facing. Our parenting coach, Siope Kinikini, will guide and encourage you. He will point out what you are doing well and ways you can harness your strengths. He is not there to shame you or make you feel bad. Our end goal with an ADHD Parenting Coaching session is to help heal and elevate your family using the elements of the Teaching-Family Model.
All parents could use a parenting coach as raising kids, whether they have ADHD or not, is tough. We believe in the power of a parenting coaching session and offer free 15-minute mini-sessions to help you see how much an ADHD Parenting Coach can help. Sign-up today and let our master teacher help your family.
For a free 15-minute mini-session: https://www.smarterparenting.com/coaching
For full show notes and transcript: https://www.smarterparenting.com/adhd-parenting-podcast/
![Ep #39: Avoiding ADHD parenting burnout](https://pbcdn1.podbean.com/imglogo/ep-logo/pbblog4701387/parenting-adhd-burnout_300x300.jpg)
Monday Nov 04, 2019
Ep #39: Avoiding ADHD parenting burnout
Monday Nov 04, 2019
Monday Nov 04, 2019
ADHD parenting burnout is real. As parents, we want to be there for our child. Often that comes at the expense of our health and ability. By giving your child your all, you become a less effective parent.
Parents need to take precautions to avoid ADHD fatigue and to acknowledge when they are feeling overwhelmed or dealing with parenting stress. ADHD parenting coach, Siope Kinikini, shares five solutions that will help all parents avoid burnout and be the parent they want to be.
The five solutions are: set boundaries, prioritize self-care, find a support group, understand ADHD diagnosis, and establish traditions.
The most important thing a parent can do to avoid ADHD parenting burnout is to establish boundaries. Boundaries are necessary. Boundaries help us establish expectations and expectations equal happiness. Happiness is the ultimate goal as it means we are doing our job as parents and providing our kids the love and support they need.
We know it can be hard to establish boundaries with a child with ADHD because they need us more than other children. They need more reminders to do things. They need more instructions, which is exactly why they need boundaries. They need to learn how to function in the world without you. Boundaries teach them how to. Boundaries will change as they grow, and it’s okay to adjust those boundaries as this happens to prevent ADHD parenting burnout.
Part of establishing boundaries is prioritizing your self-care. That means setting boundaries on time and things that are yours. Whether that’s exercising, taking a bath, reading a book, or eating ice cream they don’t have access to, find those things that allow you to recharge and feel fulfilled.
Many parents feel guilty about having self-care routines. Don’t! Your capacity to care for your kid with ADHD has a direct correlation to your self-care. You can not be “on” 24/7 without eventually reaching a breaking point as always being “on” creates anxiety and frustration.
Each parent’s self-care will look different so find what works for you. We know that finding time for self-care can be challenging. It’s okay to schedule your self-care. For some parents, it may be 30 minutes all at once. For others, that time may be broken up into small increments throughout the day.
Third, have a support system you can turn to when you’re feeling overwhelmed or dealing with parenting stress. Being a parent of a child with ADHD can feel very isolating as not everybody can understand the challenges you and your child face. Find someone who does, whether this is a friend, family member, or a support group online.
Sometimes our need for support may extend beyond a friend or support group, which is why we offer ADHD Parenting Coaching. During this time, ADHD Parenting Coach Siope Kinikini, can focus on the unique challenges your family is facing and provide tailored solutions that will improve your family.
Fourth, learn about ADHD. This one may seem out of place, but the more you can understand ADHD, the better able you are to understand your child. When you can understand your child, you have greater empathy, and that allows you to put behaviors into perspective and better manage expectations as to what is realistic and what is. When we don’t have realistic expectations, it can increase levels of frustration and anger as reality doesn’t match the expectation we’ve set.
Lastly, establish traditions. Traditions build relationships and show your child that you are on their side. Traditions don’t have to be elaborate or costly. They need to work for you and your child. Having your child establish traditions allows them to have a say, which allows for greater buy-in. If a tradition isn’t working, don’t force your child to participate. Remember, the purpose of a tradition is to strengthen bonds and forcing participation doesn’t do that. Adapt and grow with traditions as your child grows.
We want all parents of ADHD children to avoid the ADHD parenting burnout. We would love to hear the ways you prevent burnout so we can share with other parents who are feeling overwhelmed. Send your ideas to info@smarterparenting.com.
For show notes and transcript visit: https://www.smarterparenting.com/adhd-parenting-podcast/
Join the Smarter Parenting Club. https://club.smarterparenting.com/